Dating Club - Find the one you are looking for

Go on and get away, you two!

2008-09-09T08:48:00.000-07:00

Whether your plan is to relax with massages and mai-tais, or you're hoping for an active adventure rafting and sightseeing... if you're going on vacation for the first time as a couple, you'll want to steer clear of stressors that can ruin your time together.

Jeremy Duca, 25, of Colonia, New Jersey avoided a potential disaster on his first romantic getaway to the Caribbean island of Curacao when he and his then-girlfriend planned ahead. "She wanted spa treatment; I wanted a full-day offshore fishing trip," says Duca. After some budgeting, the couple were both able to enjoy a new Caribbean experience -- together. "She caught her first tuna and I very much enjoyed the Swedish massage."

While Duca and his girlfriend were able to dodge a disagreement through smart planning, some couples aren't as lucky when the most well-laid plans go awry. While no one can moderate your first trip together, there are five tricks you can put into practice to diffuse first-time trouble spots.

Have a laugh

Odds are, at least one thing will go wrong during your time together -- ranging from lost luggage to a bad sunburn -- and at some point, you will have to be flexible if plans change. You'll get to know a lot about your guy (his temper, and his drinking habits) when you see how he reacts to these snafus. If you accidentally order the $300 bottle of wine thinking it was $30, it's reason to be annoyed -- but don't let it ruin the remainder of your trip. Save money the rest of the time by hosting romantic picnics in your hotel room.

Consider him a manly-man

Being on vacation together for the first time should help you to see how your interests overlap. But a word to the wise: don't use your man as a replacement for your girlfriends. Even the best of guys (read: he enjoys theater and shopping for you at Juicy) have limits. Respect the fact that the same way watching him pick out power tools or video games bores you to tears, he may not love everything that's pink. So if you're looking for a vacation that is a mani-pedi extravaganza, take it with the girls, not your guy. Like Duca, try to plan equal opportunity activities that you'll both end up enjoying.

Bring snacks

The old saying that the way to a man's heart is through food holds true where travel is concerned. It's also a method to make your guy way less cranky. When you're sightseeing, you never know when a half hour line or waiting for a table may push a few buttons. If you carry a few protein bars or a piece of fruit in your purse, he'll not only love you for it, but it may help avert World War III with a restaurant hostess.

Factor in some "me time."

Okay, it's understood that you might just have to try on the swimsuit you passed by in a shop window -- hey, you're only human. This is what "me time" is for. While you shop for an hour, it will allow your guy some time to check scores, read the news, go for a run, whatever he wants to do…with the promise that you'll model any of the new items you purchase.

Sex it up

What fun is vacation with your guy if you can't get back to why you love one another in the first place? From flirty little gestures while you are sightseeing to taking one day out of your trip to do nothing but enjoy the view from your hotel room, vacationing one on one will no doubt bring you closer as a couple.

According to a Travel Industry of America poll, 31% of American couples annually take a romantic getaway together. For many, this will be the first of many. And we have heard (ad nauseum), and instinctively know, that compromise and planning are key to any relationship, especially when taking it to a new postal code for the first time.

Love Story---Amy Dickinson and Bruno Schickel

2008-09-08T00:00:00.001-07:00

By MICHELLE YORK

Published: August 29, 2008

Dear Amy: I am a funny, intelligent woman in my mid-40s. I was married a long time ago, and I have a wonderful daughter. Now that she is bound for college, I would like to find a meaningful relationship. Every man I meet seems more impressed by my career than by my heart. What can I do? — Confused.

Dear Confused: Men are hopeless! I suggest you give up entirely. Focus on something completely different. Write a book or renovate your house instead.

THOUGH that may not have been the advice she would have given herself, it is nonetheless the path that led Amy Dickinson, who writes the syndicated Ask Amy column for The Chicago Tribune, to find the love of her life.

Ms. Dickinson, now 48, grew up on a dairy farm in the Finger Lakes town of Freeville, N.Y., population 505. Her family’s roots there date back two centuries.

Growing up, she realized that her classmates divided themselves into two groups: those who wanted to stay and those who wanted to leave. She knew the group to which she belonged. “I would sit on a hay bale and pretend I was on ‘Johnny Carson,’ ” she said. “I had dreams.”

Bruno Schickel, the brother of her friend Jacques, was in the other group. He was four years older than her and fierce. He was already a young man hard at work on the family farm, barking orders when he found younger siblings whiling away their time swimming in the pond. “He was a little frightening,” Ms. Dickinson said.

But the young Amy caught his eye back then. “She was as cute as a button,” said Mr. Schickel, belying his gruff demeanor.

After high school, Ms. Dickinson left for Georgetown University,began her career as a journalist, married and had a daughter, Emily Mason, now 19. The marriage fell apart when Emily was a toddler, but Ms. Dickinson used her experiences as a single parent as fodder for a column in Time magazine.

Read the full story

Tips for Safe and Successful Online Relationships

2008-09-07T22:14:00.000-07:00

You may wish to make and meet a new friend. Your main interest may be in dating online or dating in person, you may wish to find love and romance, perhaps the person you dream of marrying. It could be that you wish to travel or play sport or an activity and need a companion or other activity partner to come along.

The key to meeting new friends is to have fun, relax and enjoy. Seekwealthy.com is an excellent example of a dating site environment in which you can do these things safely and without any pressure. If you decide to meet someone there or in the outside world, then we feel there are some basic ideas you should follow for your personal comfort.

Of course, they cannot take responsibility for your actions using their services, as you are all adults, but they can offer some advice based on our own experiences.

so what can you do to help yourself?

First you need to get replies to your emails and messages. To do this here are some tips you may find helpful:-

Think about how your profile is written. Ensure there are NO spelling mistakes in your My Own Words section and your emails and messages. This is the first important rule.
Keep your description short but be completely honest. If you are not being truthful then when you meet, you will be discovered, if not before.
Add fun and humor to your profile, and don't be too serious at first.
Don't be afraid to state who you wish to meet and why. Most adults know the kind of person they are attracted to, even if they are not sure why.
Tell people what you like and perhaps things you don't. Don't be offensive though.
Take your time, you can edit your profile at LoveBrowser at any time. Change it occasionally to keep it fresh, and try to be original.
Add a photo to your profile. We find that a member with a photo can get anything up to 9 times the amount of replies, in comparison with those that do not include one.
Be polite with messaging, and don’t make judgments about the length of time to get a reply.
Please don’t feel you need to block someone just because they are too busy to chat this time. Be cool.
Keep your first email short and to the point, perhaps humorous and interesting. Don't include too much detail at this point, and just a few things that you have in common. Make the email talkative and allow it to flow. Don't be too serious at this stage or too emotional.
Do NOT include you personal details in an introduction email. Leave that until a relationship is established, and you feel very comfortable with the other person.
Try and contact a few people at the same time, but always those who you have matched, not those who you have nothing in common with as they will not welcome your contact.
Be honest and stick to the truth. It is all too easy to add things that at this stage are not checkable. However, you may get caught out later and ruin a fantastic friendship or romance.
Always reply quite quickly to any messages.
Don't talk about money or possessions at this time. Most people like or love someone for who they are, not what they have. We assume you do not want to find someone who simply wants you for what you can provide.
Do not apply any form of pressure in an email, whether it be for a reply or a meeting. Do not be critical of their profile or photo. This will create a negative response.

Ensure Your Privacy is Protected

The information you supply when you register at dating sites like seekwealthy.com is completely confidential. Your registration details are kept secret from all members and under no circumstances are made available to any third party. No member of staff should ever ask you for your password. They must NOT use your contact or email details for marketing purposes. Any member who matches you in their searches can only see what you have told them in terms of your personal profile, nothing more. Therefore, remember not to include you actual email address or telephone number in the text of your profile or in emails unless you are sure that you would like to take your friendship further. Dating sites generally cannot access your emails and do not have any control on what information you supply to another member. If someone you are in contact with is not giving much away then perhaps you should err on the side of caution.

Love Story---Theresa Hossfeld and Jesse Thorn

2008-09-07T06:21:00.000-07:00

By FRANCESCA SEGRÈ

Published: September 6, 2008

ON “The Sound of Young America,” Jesse Thorn’s irreverent public radio interview show and podcast, he calls himself America’s Radio Sweetheart — but only for the pure absurdity of it.

“It’s just the silliest thing in the world,” the wisecracking Mr. Thorn said of this nom de podcast. “I might as well call myself America’s Dandelion Queen.”

“He has one of the most radiolicious voices ever to be invented,” said John Hodgman, a regular on “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart,” a friend and fan of Mr. Thorn’s humor.

But when it comes to discussing Theresa Hossfeld, the Radio Sweetheart’s own sweetheart, Mr. Thorn, 27, is all sincerity. “I never wasn’t in love with her,” he said of Ms. Hossfeld, whom he met in high school in 1997 at the School of the Arts in San Francisco.

“In English class he wouldn’t do any of the reading, but he would know everything about the topic, ” Ms. Hossfeld, also 27, recalled. The two flirted and passed notes incessantly.

Then on Halloween 1998, pausing to change out of his gorilla suit, Mr. Thorn kissed her on the lips. “I had butterflies every day of my senior year,” Ms. Hossfeld said.

They haven’t been apart since that kiss — except during college. Just before they left for opposite coasts, he decided that they should start college single. But within three weeks, it was unbearable. “Neither one of us was particularly committed to the break-up,” Mr. Thorn deadpanned.

To celebrate their 730th day as a couple, Mr. Thorn, then a resident adviser at the University of California, Santa Cruz, cut out and mailed 730 paper hearts to Ms. Hossfeld’s Sarah Lawrence dorm room. “There are certain supplies that every R.A. has access to,” Mr. Thorn said. “Construction paper, condoms, that gold border paper for billboards. I felt that the construction paper was the most fruitful avenue to pursue.”
.

Read the Rest of the Entry

Tips for Choosing an Online Dating Website

2008-09-07T01:37:00.000-07:00

Most dating sites have security and privacy policies and those that don't are best avoided. By security we mean that they vet their members, they have policies and terms of use allowing people to be removed, or barred from the site. They may have protective measures in place to ensure that the members dating online will not face any serious annoyance when logged in. On top of that some sites will register with data protection registrars and have a strict password system protecting accounts.

The very best dating sites will be aware particularly of women's issues when dating online and will have a positive policy allowing women members to block those who they do not wish to communicate with, without repercussions. There are some sites that penalize for blocking and we would never advocate you to use them.

Email should always be a private affair when dating online and the top dating sites usually keep your email within the site itself so that you have a protected in box but messages are never transmitted to your real world address. Instant messaging is increasingly seen as very important when dating online and allows instant communication with other members who are online at that time. This facilitates easy and private chats which can lead to positive relationship building.

Chat rooms don't occur on all dating websites but we see them as very useful for new daters and socialites who love to chat to many people at once. It is a good way of getting your typing and chat skills on top form. The best sites allow you to use a different name in a chat room to your regular profile to maintain anonymity levels.

Some special dating sites provide users with a unique theme such as seekwealthy.com which focus on wealthy gentlemen and sweet ladies.

Here are some key things I believe you should always keep in mind when attempting to use the Internet for romance.

Use a professional introduction agency, one that has been established for at least 3 years

Use an Internet dating specialist firm, not some extra which is an afterthought

Use an agency that allows free profile registration for all members

Use an online service that allows you to post more than one photo for free

Use a dating services agency that has a secure ecommerce system

Do not use completely free agencies as you don't often get top quality services

Do find an online agency that offers email and messaging that are onsite

Don't use agencies that insist on sending emails to your own inbox

The best Internet dating specialists offer you great customer service

Use an agency that is appealing and relaxed and suits your style

Don't go for agencies that pay for adverts to catch your eye, they are not always the best

Look for online agencies that provide detailed dating articles and advice

Make sure that the online agency includes their full address and phone number

International websites usually have the best variety of member profiles

Find an Internet agency that is willing to chat about any issues you may have

Use an agency that offers different methods of secure payment

Some of the best dating agencies allow payment in different currencies

It is essential that you can Browse & Find profiles for free

Make sure that the search facilities are fast and suit your style of searching

Simple tips to help you out. The first step

2008-09-06T15:38:00.000-07:00

Online dating can be a little scary at first. You are jumping onto a website and sharing yourself with thousands and sometimes millions of other people. You are putting yourself out there with the risk of rejection in hopes of finding anything from a date to a spouse. It can be a lot of pressure to put yourself under.

That’s why you need to break online dating down to it’s three basic parts: The profile, the photo, and your strategy. Most people fail because they don’t take the little bit of extra effort that they need to make sure they have these three things. If you have a great strategy, but your profile or photos are not so good, you are probably just wasting your time because you are not going to make a good first impression. But, even if you have a great profile and photo, but have no real strategy, it’s kind of like having bullets without a gun. Throwing bullets will only get you so far. Here are some simple tips to help you out in all three areas:

The Profile:

Focus on the positives!

Always try to talk about the things you want in the person you are looking for. Don’t focus on the things that you don’t want, talking about them just makes it sound like you have more baggage than any normal person is going to want to deal with.

The Photo:

Keep the focus on you!

A lot of people like to put photos that show them with friends or at fancy functions like weddings. Don’t do it! You want to be the only person in your photo. If you have friends or family in the photo with you, you run the risk of people spending their time trying to figure out if they are just a friend or your ex. Even worse, they might be more attracted to your friend than they are to you. Instead, keep the focus on you and let visual props like a pet or a setting the shows off some of your character. That way people can see you in a setting that makes you look your best.

The Strategy:

Make the first move!

Don’t wait for Mr. or Ms. Right to find you. Only you really know what you want anyways, so get out there and start looking for it. Take advantage of the search options on your for your dating site so you can eliminate a lot of the people you aren’t interested in. When you find someone you like, SEND THEM AN EMAIL! Do not wink at them. Winking is for wusses!